As I sit in a cafe eating my dinner before I go to an improv comedy "performance" that I will be "performing" in, I feel nervous. I feel the stress reaction coming on just even thinking about going on stage. As Billy Anderson will say I am exiting my comfort zone and entering my courageous zone. This is an opportunity to practice courage. To get on stage is something so utterly uncomfortable for me. I start to sweat and my heart speeds up just thinking about it. (I will touch on this perceived source of stress in another article and tie it to the book I am reading "Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers"). But why do I get this reaction? What am I really afraid of?
I did this performance last month and I survived. Shouldn't it be easier this time? Going back to Billy Anderson I am falling victim to that big nasty fear.... What other people think of me. What happens if I say the "wrong" thing? What happens if I freeze? What happens if people perceive me as incompetent?
I am starting to see the signifance of this back injury in my life. It has forced me to get out of my comfort zone of athletics and into other realms that allow me to practice my courage. I see that these courageous acts allow me the opportunity to become my fully blossomed self.
So I'm afraid of what others think of me.... Ok I said it. As much as I try to not let the words or comments of other people affect me, they do. So how do I go about getting over this, I continually place myself in uncomfortable scenarios and allow my true self to be revealed. Situations where I have the potential to be shut down, questioned, confronted, judged, not liked, laughed at... You name it. But there really is no sense to worry about what others think of me... That is so limiting.
We are constantly creating our reality. What I see or perceive could be polar opposite to the guy sitting next to me. What I value and deem signifanct to me could be completely meaningless for the girl at the cash register in front of me. So then confidence becomes a funny thing because we all fit into different categories for the hobbies we do, skills and talents we possess and social groups we are apart of. I could be best in the world for ski racing but may not hold a singing tune to save my life. Therefore I value ski racing and the status I receive from it and not even value singing as a source of confidence. But the goal of course is to have a steady base of confidence no matter what goes on in our lives.
So yes speaking in front of people on a stage makes me feel slightly insecure but I'm harnessing my courage and working it out like a muscle at the gym. The more courage is practiced the greater chance one day that thing that was so scary will just become second nature! ... Quite funny to think about if you ask me!
