Wild woman

Coming up from the depths 

and breaking free from the hive

She's rising into her highest self 
Wild woman is coming alive.

A dweller by the Raven Woods 

Hunting in packs while seeking what she wants
She lets go of the shoulds

as she moves gracefully through the forest

She is the wild woman 

Conscious, awake & wise
Sharing her tales
And acting on her intuition

She thinks, breathes and speaks free of inhibition 

Always confident in her path 

Her direction is clear ...

She takes the wild way. 

To live is to love

Why do we subject ourself to love if we are just going to get hurt?

The same reason we subject ourself to living knowing we will die.

To live in fear of dieing is to be dead already, to love in fear of loss is to never unlock those chains of protection. Your love remains contained, turning stagnant, eventually collapsing and taking you further inward and withdrawn from the world.

To think that there is only one person suited for us to love is an extremely limiting belief that turns people on to a crazy pursuit of their "one and only" when really the person that is right in front of you is your love for this moment of time... embrace it. 

Infinite and limitless

Desiring to be a radical with a yearning to create I find I'm most inspired when my paradigm is changed. When my "normal" becomes uprooted I know  there is more. However I drop back to the known, the safe, the usual but I desire the unusual, the undiscovered, I desire for the sweetness to be revealed. There is a huge shift coming...

The tiger is slowly waking 

Seeing life is here for the taking 

Once Bound by guilt and pressure 

She's not been living true to her.

Now throwing away the old 

And daring to be bold 

Going to do this through stillness

Creating the Infinite and limitless 

The tiger is slowly waking 

Seeing life is here in the making 

The Way

I place my hand upon your heart. I feel it beat. It reminds me of our vulnerability. Every moment taking us closer to death. It is death that allows significance and beauty to be felt in such simple moments. To witness breath is to witness life and to feel love is to feel life. When we are with one another it is this heart centred consciousness that allows us to capture the essence of the moment. Together we rise in love. 

Start getting comfortable being uncomfortable

As I sit in a cafe eating my dinner before I go to an improv comedy "performance" that I will be "performing" in, I feel nervous. I feel the stress reaction coming on just even thinking about going on stage. As Billy Anderson will say I am exiting my comfort zone and entering my courageous zone. This is an opportunity to practice courage. To get on stage is something so utterly uncomfortable for me. I start to sweat and my heart speeds up just thinking about it. (I will touch on this perceived source of stress in another article and tie it to the book I am reading "Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers"). But why do I get this reaction? What am I really afraid of?

I did this performance last month and I survived. Shouldn't it be easier this time? Going back to Billy Anderson I am falling victim to that big nasty fear.... What other people think of me. What happens if I say the "wrong" thing? What happens if I freeze? What happens if people perceive me as incompetent? 

I am starting to see the signifance of this back injury in my life. It has forced me to get out of my comfort zone of athletics and into other realms that allow me to practice my courage. I see that these courageous acts allow me the opportunity to become my fully blossomed self. 

So I'm afraid of what others think of me.... Ok I said it. As much as I try to not let the words or comments of other people affect me, they do. So how do I go about getting over this, I continually place myself in uncomfortable scenarios and allow my true self to be revealed. Situations where I have the potential to be shut down, questioned, confronted, judged, not liked, laughed at... You name it. But there really is no sense to worry about what others think of me... That is so limiting. 

We are constantly creating our reality. What I see or perceive could be polar opposite to the guy sitting next to me. What I value and deem signifanct to me could be completely meaningless for the girl at the cash register in front of me. So then confidence becomes a funny thing because we all fit into different categories for the hobbies we do, skills and talents we possess and social groups we are apart of. I could be best in the world for ski racing but may not hold a singing tune to save my life. Therefore I value ski racing and the status I receive from it and not even value singing as a source of confidence. But the goal of course is to have a steady base of confidence no matter what goes on in our lives. 

So yes speaking in front of people on a stage makes me feel slightly insecure but I'm harnessing my courage and working it out like a muscle at the gym. The more courage is practiced the greater chance one day that thing that was so scary will just become second nature! ... Quite funny to think about if you ask me! 

Grace

I absolutely love listening to Mumford & Sons Music. Perhaps lines like, "you must know life to know decay but I won't rot" gives me the strength to believe that everything is working out for my highest good. It reminds me that "there'll come a time with no more tears and love will not break [my] heart but dismiss [my] fears" and I finally feel that I am "getting over [my] hill and seeing what [I am meant to] find there with Grace in [my] heart and flowers in [my] hair". Their lyrics have allowed me to embrace Grace. Grace is not just a beautiful word but it represents a powerful force originating outside the human consciousness which nurtures the spiritual growth of human beings. We cannot touch this force. We have no decent way to measure it. Yet it exists. It is real.  Perhaps Grace is that invisible river or airflow that directs us to certain experiences and certain people at that perfect time. It is what is responsible for those serendipitous moments that can change our life path in an instant and leave us shaking our heads, smirking and saying to ourselves "how can this be?"

When I listen to Mumford and Sons the spiritual world begins to penetrate the mundane. I believe they portray an extremely accurate representation of what it means to be part of the bigger picture. Their beautiful lines like, "these bodies we will live and these bodies we will die, where you invest your love you invest your life" speak true that love is more than something we possess, it is us, it comprises us and gives us structure...which I could cross reference with Dr Masuru Emoto's research on water but I will refrain myself to do so at this time. 

May we release control and let Grace guide us.

  

"Robots need love too"

Almost convinced by old programming
thinking her heart is as cold as her home
stark and uninviting
but not to get confused...
It is just simple
What you see is what you get
Nothing hidden behind closed doors
Everything out to be seen
For years she decided she was linear, black & white
but that is not the case
she is soft & dynamic
empathetic, sensitive & warm.
She desires love
She craves touch
Out in the open with a vulnerable heart
with no story to write
only experiences to be had


 

Subconscious Connection

To heal is to let love in and to send it out

It is to stop the competition as that is a win/lose game 

Let's play a different game where everyone wins, a game of mutuality and sharing 

Where we support one another's quest for godhood 

The ego is our enemy, ruthlessly tearing other people down to compensate for our own sense of lack 

To heal is to let the love permeate our body and truly listen to our Holy Spirit 

It is that higher being that we ask for help from 

The answers are there

To think we are teachers is to disregard any love and guidance from the eternal/ageless universe who has been dealing with these quandaries since the beginning of time 

Our bodies are the physical version our minds so if our body is failing it is our mind that needs a revamp 

Maybe we must choose to reconnect to this higher being in which guides us on this river of life  ... For the time being 

Perceived by a Sense

We are not our face, our body, our thoughts 

Our physical self grasps for structure and order to make "sense" of what these images are broadcasting to us every minute of everyday 

Our logic is always trying to make "sense" of this life 

What if we just trusted our senses?

Our reaction to our day to day reality is constantly being defined 

But there is no "real", there is no "right", there just is an interpretation 

We are an eternal consciousness 

Forever Wandering throughout the universe 

Courage vs Fear

"Where is it that your courage ends and fear begins.... " - Robert Hunter

Find that line and live on that edge, forcing yourself out of those "comfort zones" that are created by habitual patterns. 

My courage ends and fears begins when I think about creating something completely different for my life. Moving away from my family. Moving away from this "great life" (as viewed by outsiders) I have here in Vancouver. But living a "great life" isn't about living a picture perfect life with a pretty house, a great job, a daily routine surrounded by good looking people... It is about sharing experiences and constantly pushing the boundary of what you think you can do. It is about leaving the world a better place than when you arrived. It is about taking risks while not knowing what the exact outcome will be.... That is a life worth living. 

The above quote comes from Robert Hunter who was one of the founders of Greenpeace and that's exactly what he did. He created something bigger than himself, something to contribute to the world in a positive manner. It wasn't always a smooth road but he had a dream, desire and a goal and he went for it! Extremely admirable.  

As I meander through life there are things I want to experience and to make these experiences happen I have to have the guts to follow through on my words with actions. It's pretty easy to keep telling myself oh I'll do that later, but one day later won't be here. So on the advice from Mumford and Sons I'm going to "collect [my] courage and collect [my] horse and take off into the sunset where there is no remorse. 

Timeless

When I am in the moment 

Time ceases to exist 

An unlimited source of contentness 

Never searching for more 

Finally able to commit to what is 

Good or bad ... What does that mean?

I have arrived 

Can't you see?

Feel the loneliness

Sit with the sadness 

Stop grasping for things 

beyond your reach 

What you need is right in front of you 

Just open your eyes

Stop blaming others 

For your bruised peach 

We are all here 

doing the best we can 

So it's time you stop attacking 

And take a deep breath 

We are spreading ourselves too thin

We are all afraid of "missing out" 

So let's go back to basics 

And realize we are more peaceful with less 

Patience Grasshopper

I ponder the virtue of patience, especially in this time of life when it feels like everything is speeding up exponentially. The definition of patience is to accept or tolerate trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset and I came across the most wonderful example of patience while in the high Canadian arctic...the Arctic Woolly Bear moth. This moth is best know for its slow rate of development spending the majority of its 7 year life cycle frozen. It eventually becomes a moth but only for a few weeks. This insect is an attest to the patience we all hold within us. It reminds us to breathe, slow down, and surrender to what is, to what is in front of us, to what is here right now!

Trust

As he holds me close I melt into his arms. I lay a vulnerable being, in complete trust, I let go. I feel his hands on my shoulders, I feel his breath on my neck. I surrender. I stop worrying about trying to be perfect, I stop trying to control, I let go. I gain the courage to show my authentic self as he whispers in my ear "everything is going to be ok". 

My Backpack

If my backpack would talk 

It would tell a different story than me 

It would speak of a journey

Traversing land and sea

It would share a different perspective 

Creating another reality 

Making sure I remember 

Not everything is as it seems

We've been to the same places 

India, China, Greenland & more 

We've met a lot of people 

Seeing love is always at their core 

I share a connection with my backpack 

It is my best traveling friend 

We see each other through adventures 

Good and bad, start to end 

I know it's looking out for me 

I know it's got my back 

It is my travel guardian 

It's not just some old sack 

If my backpack could really talk 

It would tell me a thing or two 

It would tell me "love with an open heart

It doesn't matter who 

We may speak a different language 

We all live in a different place 

But as long as we remember we're connected

The world will feel safe"

This Day

Feeling the pain

How do I translate this?
The tears provide a release
I breathe

Restless
I ask for help
What more can I do?
Just breathe

Letting go
I surrender
This day has passed
Deep breath

Reflection

I grieve for the days of jumping, skipping, hopping and flipping

I live for the days of forging berries, bathing in the sun, writing poetry and singing songs 

We must not close all our doors Just because one has closed

We are human beings full of infinite potential 

Transition is a slow and difficult process but what shows itself to us is meant to be there 

Time to stop longing for what was and to start embracing the new, the different,  the uncomfortable.

Action

I prefer action over talk. I prefer silence over chatter.  Let's save our word and use it for social good. Let's go deep and expand our consciousness. Let's share ideas on how to make this world a better place. Then follow up our words with action. In this time of life there is so much talk and very little supporting action. I want to make a change. I want to have a positive impact on this world so future generations can enjoy the beauty I have experienced. When I learn about the province taking land out of the Agriculture Land Reserve (ALR) to build highways and a mega mall or that there was a toxic oil spill in the waters I swim in or that a dam burst which caused a tailings pond filled with heavy metals to mix into our clean water and affect the salmon run I want to cry and release an indescribable amount of frustration. I need an outlet to not only discuss these things but to take action with like-minded people.

 

 

In the Wild

In the Wild 

She moves about with a smile 

She runs free 

She lives peacefully 

In the Wild 

She roams mile after mile 

She gains energy from the trees 

As they speak to her through the breeze 

In the Wild 

She could stay there for a while 

She never wants to leave 

She wants access to the seas

How Improv Can Improve Romantic Relationships

As a result of a back injury I have had to cut out the sports that I have been playing for the past 20 years and look towards other hobbies. I wanted to try something new but still with high energy, so I am taking Improv classes. I enjoy them very much despite being so far away from my comfort zone. I have never done any sort of performing on a theatre stage. As I try to enjoy the uncomfortable feelings of acting out ridiculous situations in front of others I learn many valuable lessons and insights from the feedback of our Improv teacher at Vancouver Theatre Sports (VTSL). Not only are these lessons going to help me release any stage fright and have more fun but after reading through my notes after class I see that they are also tips for dating and relationships!

Here are a few Improv tips that can be applied to dating, relationships and marriage:

Train yourself out of being right
There is no wrong just confidence
Be bold and direct
But yield to other ideas
If you feel stuck talking to each other look for something physical
Doing is always better than talking
Support the other person
Build on each other
Take Ownership
Accept and move on
If you make your partner look good, you look good
But it’s not just all about yourself
Be in the moment, don’t create the future
Relax and trust
Chill Out
But don’t be afraid to go through the door!
Have Commitment
Have Fun!

We have been building certain social constructs our whole life and we have this idea of what is “right” or what looks “right”. As soon as we add an element that is out of the norm or our daily habits, ie a new romantic partner or Improv comedy we begin to quickly question reality. I think as I start to break down these social constructs in the theatre my protective walls regarding romantic relationships will start to crumble as well. I love how Improv allows us to take anything out of context and make sense of it so Thanks VTSL for the great relationship advice ;)
 

A Send Off

Its time to go, my work here is done

Don't worry about me I've had my fun

I've created a legacy, A loving family 

Don't grasp too hard, I'll rest peacefully 

I love you all very much, you've been so good to me 

I pass on my love but keep the memories 

You don't need to speak because Grandma we know 

We must be strong and let you go 

A deep rooted connection forged over the years 

Its admiration and love flowing in these tears 

Your physical self is slowly slipping away

But you stay with us forever, in our hearts we pray

Dealing with Death is never easy as we are raised in a culture afraid of such a thing. Even to write death or speak the words make our own self cringe as we realize our invincibility. So how to handle it, what to do? Well North America standards would give us a handbook or call us depressed. But let your intuitive sense guide you through the process, it's ok to be sad, it's ok to cry. Death truly warrants our celebration of such beautiful life on this earth. 

Describing the Indescribable

Juggling a soccer ball

Sleeping through the night

Walking into a forest 

& sitting by candle light 

Seeing an old friend 

Swimming in the sea

Reaching the top of a mountain

& drinking afternoon tea 

Exploring a new place 

& Smelling fragrant flowers 

Exchanging smiles with a stranger

Losing track of time for hours 

My life's purpose is to enjoy 

The simple pleasures of the day 

In a constant state of gratitude 

With no words left to say 

Lift Your Head

I want to go back to a time of mystique, to a time of simplicity where if the sun was shining you went outside, if the cherry blossoms were out you stopped to like them instead of liking a photo of them on instagram. Is this my resistance to change or an acknowledgement of a time of mindless distractions taking us away from being fully present with the true beauty of this world. The grass is not greener after that click of a button but lift your head and see it is green RIGHT NOW! Accept what is right there in front of you.