Effective Honesty

Everyone deserves honesty. Sometimes we are deceiving with our word because we do not want to "hurt" the person on the other end of the conversation. However in doing this, we have created drama. We think the other person (sorry ahead of time for the quote of a movie line) cannot handle the truth. We think they are not strong enough or they will be upset. However this sort of approach does not give the receiver any moral credit. You have now put them in a 'poor me' category. I believe it is important to spit out the facts, have courage and tell the truth, all the time. No matter what the situation and no matter what 'you think' will be the outcome. TELL THE TRUTH.

I speak of this through experience. I know we have all been in a situation where you just wanted the truth. Since we cannot control what others are going to do or say, in order to make this a reality in my life I have done my best to start living my truth. I speak my feelings, I act accordingly and I let others know what I am thinking. I am not a mind reader and not many of us are. Thinking that others know what we want is only going to end in disappointment. You are not being selfish if you put in your opinion...and don't forget we are all entitled to our own opinion.

Effective honesty is to be used in all situations in life however I am going to take one example in terms of romantic feelings. Romance is an area in our lives where so much drama is created. Situations are dreamt up, expectations are not met and we are all trying to live up to finding "the one". I do not beleive we have just one "soulmate". There are so many people in the world... in our Country, ok wait...in our very own city and neighbour who we are compatible with. I do not believe that if we speak of truth then we are spoiling any magic, actually I think the opposite... truth allows the magic to reveal itself. 

I recently approach a friend with romantic feelings. The feelings were not mutual but I had to put my feelings forth in order to let them go. It was a great decision as now our friendship has developed stronger. I have been able to move past any story I had created in my mind. I often find myself listening to my girlfriends chat about their dating scene and I throw my two cents into the mix about being honest. "Why don't you just tell him the truth?", I'll say. This is received often with a, "No, I could never do that!"

I find that when I am honest, it takes up a lot less of my energy. Living in the city, working in a service industry and exercising daily adds enough stress and strain to my body, I do not need to add stress on my body through created drama. It is important to our mental wellbeing to let our feelings flow instead of bottling them up inside and hoping or wishing that something will come from it.

Connecting Through Visceral Experiences

When we are young we hear the following saying numerous times from adults "Don't talk to strangers". I don't believe I was ever told this as a child because talking with "strangers" is one of my favourite things to do. A few months back I saw a post from Richard Branson writing about the importance of 'Talking to Strangers' and I completely agree. You can never can guess where a simple Hello will take you. I have made so many lifelong friends by just talking to a person who once was a "stranger". It might have been on public transit, at a restaurant, on an airplane or hiking a mountain. I find when I truly commit to the moment it is at this time that I open up. I am not thinking about what I need to cook for dinner, the emails I need to answer once I get to work or the credit card bill that is due tomorrow. I am aware of my surroundings smiling and making eye contact with whomever will accept it. I would like to share a couple of my favourite stories:

1) I was waiting at the Canada Line station and I noticed the only other person waiting for the train. I began talking to him (I told him he looked very handsome...I like to say what is on my mind) and it turns out he was from Liechtenstein. There is only a population of 36,000 in the whole country. The odds of meeting someone from this country is less than winning the lottery! He ended up coming over for family dinner a couples days later. 

2) I was working at a retail store as a greeter. I began talking with a fellow who looked around my age (I think I made a comment about his sunglasses). He just gave off fabulous energy. We exchanged information met up a couple days later and now I have met so many new people through him that I don't what my last year would have been like if I hadn't met him. 

3) I went for a swim in a glacier lake with my sister. As we came out of the water a gentleman came over to us and asked how cold the water was. We began talking and found that we connected instantly. I now have a friend in Missouri!

I understand some people are not as outgoing and will not just start talking to someone they do not know. I believe a trick to meeting people is to keep a sense of that childhood innocence with you. The knowing/thought that all people are good and are doing their best to do 'good' in this world. Children do not judge, they become friends instantly with people because they carry no previous judgement with them as their ego has not developed yet. I met one of my most cherished friends til this day when I was 5 years old. This person has had a tremendous impact on my life and forever will. I truly don't know what my life would be like without her. And it all started when I went over to her on the swings and I said I like your sweater (to add she was wearing a pretty righteous full burgundy roots sweatsuit!).

Meeting new friends does not mean that you give up your old friendships, or that these old friendships are not as important anymore. Building new friendships allows us to cooperate and build connections in a world that can seem lonely at times.