I'm Listening

I have so much to offer this world. I have much to say and share but at the moment I feel so trapped; A prisoner not of my mind but of my body. Being attacked by physical pain everyday. Perhaps this attack is more of a guidance back on to my path, it could have been that I wandered astray. Though I must have missed my turn by miles because there's no ignoring this. I promise, I'm listening. 

Rationalize

It's getting close to 3am and I have been woken up in discomfort with this back  injury. After a half hour of trying to get back to sleep I grab my book, "The Road Less Travelled" and begin reading. I am on the section titled "Grace" and the sub header of "Entropy and Original Sin". Dr Peck writes that Entropy is the 2nd law of thermodynamics and essentially should be pulling the universe to a less organized state, however that is not the case. Over centuries the miracle of evolution has been and still is present. Evolution goes against this natural law and this is not just with evolution of species this is evolution of the self (spiritual development). So what is the law the pushes us to grow against the natural law of resistance, it is the force of love (which Dr Peck defines as "the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth). 

Spiritual growth is something that is hard work. We are faced with challenges and change in our life which we can either view as something negative or we can use that as a teacher to continuously grow our whole life. What I found interesting about what Dr Peck brought up is that laziness is omnipresent and that laziness is the cheif enemy to extending one self into new areas of thought, responsibility or maturation. I notice in myself that I may try to circumvent a problem first before facing head on, an example of a form of laziness.

Furthermore, this back story brings me to a realization of rationalization and a questioning of my world view. Dr Peck continues to state that laziness can disguise itself in other forms such as  rationalizations. So I stop reading, realize I titled my writing platform, "Rational-eyes" (a title that made sense at the time) and begin to become even more aware of my intellectualizing patterns. I am hyper aware and observant of why people do the things they do therefore I will observe a situation and try to make sense of it or bring reason into the equation, which fulfills the definition of rational. Extending on that, to rationalize is to create an excuse or a more attractive explanation for a problem or situation and all of sudden it clicked, this is a defense mechanism I use frequently to protect myself. I try to be logical instead of just feeling what is going on which in turn has me bottling up emotions. Wow, self revalation. 

Noticing I place this sort of logic on all situations, even as to why I have chronic episodes of disc herniations, this becomes another adventure on my journey to changing these ingrained patterns. In conclusion we all will be working against this force of laziness, which ever form it shows it self in, our whole life if we choose to continue to develop and spiritually evolve towards godhood. 

Miracles

Below is a wonderful excerpt from the current book I am reading, "The Road Less Travelled" by Dr. Scott M. Peck. He speaks of miracles and how they are everywhere and in our day to day life, we don't need to wait for the parting of the seas to believe in miracles.  I am grateful for these daily miracles life has to offer; amazing people, incredible scenery, the ability to learn and the capacity to love. 

"Perception of the miraculous requires no faith or assumptions. It is simply a matter of paying full and close attention to the givens of life, I.e. To what is ever so present that it is usually taken for granted. The true wonder of the world is available everywhere, in the minutest parts of our bodies, in the vast expanse of the cosmos and in the interconnectedness of these and all things. We are apart of a finely balanced ecosystem. We are individuals but also parts of a greater whole, united in something vast and beautiful beyond description."

A Blessing

Each day a blessing

Every person a chance

To love unconditionally

And let minds expanse 

A simple thank you is enough

To bring gratitude to the day 

It is the bridge to love 

With high vibrations on display

Thank You

A simple thank you is all that is needed for gratitude to start multiplying the amazing things in our lives. Gratitude is the highest vibration of love and allows us to go beyond what we think is possible. Gratitude allows us to connect with the power of the universe. Nothing is  too small to be grateful for. With gratitude we can turn negative situations into positive situations and start experiencing life with zest and vigour for what is and what is to come!

Below is an excerpt from the book The Power by Rhonda Byrne:

"Give thanks for your senses: your eyes that see, your ears that hear, your mouth that tastes, your nose that smells and your skin that lets you feel. Give thanks for the legs you walk on, your hands that you use to do almost everything, your voice that enables you to express yourself and communicate with others. Give thanks for your amazing immune system that keeps you well or heals you, and for all your organs that maintain your body immaculately so you can live. Give thanks for the magnificence of your human mind that no computer technology in the world can duplicate. Your entire body is the greatest laboratory on the planet and there's nothing that can come even close to replicating it's magnificence. You are a miracle!"

The Power

As I continue on this blessed journey healing my back I am back to reading through books pretty quickly. Yesterday I started reading "The  Power". This is by Rhonda Byrne and is a follow up book to "The Secret".

The main point in this book is to use our imagination and create our life exactly as we want it by using the force of love. After reading this book and reminding myself the healing power is always within me I begin to really monitor my internal dialogue. It is my job to change how I talk about this injury and my story moving forward. In the words of Rhonda Byrne I must, "...love as much as possible every day. If [I] can just love and adore everything [I] possibly can today, look for and feel the things [I] love, and turn away from the things [I] don't love, [my] tomorrows will overflow with the untold happiness of everything [I] want and love". 

Help for Help

Lying on the sidewalk waiting for a family member to pick me up feeling so helpless at this time of injury. Unable to walk long distances at the moment I am forced to ask for help. I had to call for a ride for 10 blks. Why is it so hard to ask for help? I have grown up teaching myself how to be self sufficient, independent and basically never needing to ask for help. When I ask for help I feel like I am bugging the person, taking them away from what they would rather be doing. Growing up when I have asked my Mom for help it was followed by immediate tension in her body, followed by a big sigh, followed by me panicking and saying, "ok ok never mind" then ended by her getting mad and answering with a snarky "fine". This had conditioned me to figure out things on my own, I even get tight in my body when I think of this situation. Asking for help has always been a stressful thing to me so I try to avoid. 

Acknowledging it is a skill to ask for help, it is just as much of a skill to learn how to respond appropriately to being asked for help. It takes guts, courage and most of all level of comfort to put oneself out on the line and ask for help. So if you are the receiver of that question for help remain calm, breathe, listen to the whole request, take a second to quietly think to yourself then respond with a clear answer. 

Starting Anew

What is more humbling than passing over mountains, rivers and forest is going over personal hurdles and challenges. Through these tough times we develop our character. We cut the crap from our life and focus on what is important. We recognize those individuals who are always here for us. We are stripped of all ego and remain a naked, vulnerable soul searching for ways to get out of ditches and back to solid ground where we can then take a deep breath and reflect. 

Pain certainly creates a visceral experience. Where nothing but that moment in time exists. In complete survival mode the heart is racing and breath is shallow. This situation is the time to start anew. A time to evaluate how we were led here. And although unpleasant it is valuable to spiritual growth.

Freedom

Days go by slowly 

Living each day in a painful prison

Stuck

Not in fear of death 

Knowing it would be a quick relief

Over

Into the next realm

ready to get out of this physical body 

Freedom 

** my time in this realm is not done yet but why in western culture have we grown up as a society in fear of death? Why is this not talked about it in our school systems? As Buddha says, "Life is suffering", so knowing that death is a constant we can use it to teach us and guide us through life! **

Kneeling in the Grass

Kneeling in the grass I pray to the heavens. Why is this pain still here? I know it is teaching me but I don't know how much longer I can take it. My patience has turned into frustration, my positivity slowly slipping away. Oh please won't you please let this pass. 

Moonlight

As the light of the moon hits the waves of the ocean it creates a symphony of the universe. 

Music to our soul, the vastness of the world is illuminated and our spirit ignited. 

Grounded

Feet planted firmly on the ground

Mind is calm not one sound 

The canopy above 

reacts to the love

Letting the light shine in

Cleansing of all suspicion 

Over any criticism of the soul

accusations of being less than whole 

A continual realization 

through an experience of all sensations 

Breath of the forest is brought in deep

Bringing the attention back to the feet 

Searching for my WHY?

Why is it when all appears to be well and I have the world at my fingertips I am still searching?

Why is it that I keep hoping that tomorrow will be a better day? 

Why can't I just be content now? 

Why can't today be the best day ever? 

Why do I think I am missing something? 

Disposable Society

As we live in a disposable society where it is more cost efficient to buy a new thing instead of fixing it, I see a parallel with relationships. My internal dialogue reflects my emotions: 

"I am scared to be disposed of. I don't want to be used. I don't want to get broken just to be thrown out without even a second thought."

I recently witnessed someone throw away almost 5 years of growth capsulated in the form of a romantic, loving relationship. I was an outsider but it was heart wrenching to observe. How without even a "can we fix this?" conversation does one come to the conclusion that this item is broken and must be disposed of? 

It's all good

Although, strong and independent she takes a minute to be vulnerable; to look to someone else who will hold her and say, "everything will be ok".

And so it goes

mind racing 

afraid of what may be 

time to get out of the system  

retreating to the woods 

and left for the wolves

Turn on the Light

As I go through my belongings from when I was in highschool I come across my writings. My writing and philosophy has evolved but I can see my mind turning in these past musings. I have always had an interest in our spiritual connection and therefore found a quote by Immanuel Kant I had reflected on, "if we could see ourselves and other objects as they really are, we should see ourselves in a world of spiritual natures, our community which neither began with our birth nor will end with the death of the body". I have furthered my thoughts on this quote in which Immanuel is saying that our body is just here to guide us through life. We are spirits trying to coexist as a physical presence until we pass into a different realm. It is the focus on our physical presence which can lead to the creation of barriers that prevent us from learning all that we can during our journey on this planet. 

As I work through this back injury, this limitation on my physical output, I remind myself that I don't have to be a prisoner in my own body. My spirit can still shine brightly despite this chronic pain I am experiencing. I take this time to go beyond my body and any confinements I have once placed on myself. As the power of my mind will take me anywhere I need to go and connect with whomever I need to connect with. Sure this may not be an ideal situation as there are activities I am not able to enjoy at the moment but I am grateful for the lessons I am learning. The light is always there, sometimes I just need to remember to turn it on! 

A Simple Life

More and more I strive for a life of simplicity 

Of no belongings 

Of no story 

A Journey marked by meaningful experiences not a cumulation of things deemed meaningful 

Placing the importance on what is instead of what's next. 

Not being a slave to the calendar of never ending appointments or meetings but tuning in to the cycle of the moon and the changing of the seasons.

Growing food, breathing air and drinking water. Forest bathing and hot spring hunting. Loving those around me. 

Just a simple life. 

  

Find Contentment

Why do we complain?

Where does this come from?

The need or desire to change a situation. 

But what is it about the situation that warrants this negativity?

It has nothing to do with the situation itself and by changing the externals, only allows for a temporary relief to an irritation. 

If we change our reaction to the situation, if we change or moderate the internals then we can truly move forward.

We must face our complaints head on and always be direct, open and honest with ourselves and those around us.

By facing these issues/nuisances and taking responsibility for our reactions we take back control over our emotions and can see the situation in a different light. We become ready to accept what is and find contentment.

Breathe Deep and Reflect

Breathe deep and reflect

Who are we living this life for?

A teacher, a parent, a friend, a lover, 

Are we selfish if we put ourselves as first priority?

Absolutely not

Please yourself 

Be content with you

It doesn't matter if others do not approve

That is something they need to work on with themselves 

So have compassion.

What we need to do is return to simplicity 

The one thing we will have with us our whole life 

...our breath

Along the Water I Walk

The beauty that pervades me

Is something that can save me 

The tall robust tree 

I sit amongst and be 

Along the water I walk

The children are all laughing

The sun is brightly shining 

Wind blowing 

Birds singing

Along the water I walk

Enjoying the present  moment 

I breathe in the salt water scent 

The hand I lent

Love was sent

Along the water I walk 

*17March2014, taking the long walk to work through the forest, along the seawall and the beach*

 

Autumn Sage

As the wind prevails 

The beauty emerges beneath the vail

A confident soul 

Who has grown whole

She speaks with grace

And always has a smiling face 

She is my hero

The one I look up to

22March2014.

Connecting through the Sky

As you rest your hand upon my heart I immediate feel the warmth. I feel you radiate through out me. We are connecting through the open sky. You may not be on this earth but you lay with me when it's cold. You nourish me, you make me feel safe. I will forever be at your worship. 

*inspired by the sun*

Monsoon Love

Together we run through the rain 

It pours down hard

Thunder and lightning 

Our hearts are racing 

We take cover 

Breathing deeply we look into each others' eyes

We are connected through admiration 

We feel heat

The energy of LOVE

Ours lips graze one anothers

The supplest touch creates electricity 

We are alive 

At that moment and for the rest of time 

We hold each other

We become one 

We become whole

My eyes are illuminated brightly 

Not by this powerful lightning 

But by this monsoon love within me!

** inspired by the thunder and lightning monsoon storm in Bali and the couple who lead my raw food chef course!

Your Love is Gone

This confusion in my heart

Makes me think we are better apart

To develop and grow

And release any baggage we tow 

This can be no longer 

I must carry on alone and wander 

A desire for other things 

As we head into spring 

It's time for a big change 

It's not right if we stay the same

Your love is gone so please just go 

Time to invest in the new seeds I sow 

Maybe ill never be clear

And one day I will make it back here

But at least I explored and learned plenty

Remembering that at this moment I was not ready 

*reflecting on a break up of close friends of mine. When it's not right you must move on ...12April2014*

Pancha Mama's Wisdom

Many of us are children trapped in adult bodies. We have become fixated on certain patterns and that have not let us evolve into a higher being. Having the playfulness of a child is important. But acting as if life isn't fair, being a bully and gossiping about others are immature traits that must be overcome. We must support our fellow 'man' and allow each other to grow. The wellbeing of this world depends on us cooperating and appreciating pancha mama, our Mother Earth! To achieve this we must be aware and live in the present moment. Recognizing that the ego is insanity of our mind that disappears when we become aware of its presence. 

*not sure exactly what inspired this on 01March 2014*

Make Heaven on Earth

Have love, trust and gratitude and the rest will fall into place. Be your true self, your highest being in all situations. Be kind, be generous and commit random acts of service. You do not need a reason to be kind or happy. You do not need a reason to talk to a stranger. We are all one. We came from the source and will end up back at the source together one day, so why not make heaven on earth. Have an open mind and an open heart. Love others and most importantly love yourself. Practice non resistance and non judgement to what is. Just Be! Think critically and ask questions. Listen to others' stories and experiences as they provide insight into out own lives. Go outside and play! Relax and go with the flow but be on time. Have compassion as we are all doing the best we can with what we have been given. Be a lover of nature. Look at the stars, notice the moon, swim in the lakes, seas, oceans and rivers. Hunt for natural hot springs, drink the spring water....tap into the source. Tap into your divine being. Move your body often. Learn new things. Have passion for something in life and it is ok if it changes. Any decision made is a right decision. Notice your breath and breathe deeply. Experience other cultures. Travel and immerse yourself in the destination. Break new ground and always keep exploring. Share your life with others. Go against the grain. Notice what everyone is doing and do the opposite. Being unique comes by being you! Slow down and smell the flowers. Calm your mind;) LOVE❤️

** inspired at Chewton Glen's detox in the trees 06Oct2013. It is amazing how clear my thoughts become when I digitally detox**

Nature Knows

As I walk to the beat of the earth 

The forest and ocean know my worth

Part of the land my footsteps are silent

Nature allows me to be non violent

Love and compassion comes from the tress 

I am one connected with the skies and seas

Life becomes so clear when I'm in the outdoors 

So calm and content never searching for more

The tall pine, fir and Caedars 

are my best teachers 

To love with an open heart 

Is the best place to start 

*unsure where in the woods I was when I wrote this on 22April2014*

Letting Go

As the sun is setting

we take this time by letting

go of any fears we hold 

and any stories we are told

about not being good enough 

and that we must be tough

to live in this society 

instead of just allowing to be

To feel the freedom 

more often than seldom

To break off the shackles of judgment 

and connect to the bigger picture that is meant 

for you and I to live in peace and harmony

*found in the iPhone notes, I remember writing this one after a long days work driving into the sunset I pulled over to write this 07May2014.

Love Connection

Your love is my release. As I hug you tight I feel our  hearts beat together. Our breath becomes one and time fails to exist. Our bodies are a vessel of the universe supporting the constant flow of energy from the mystic powers, a feeling that is unexplainable. But who needs words when emotions are felt. A time when our senses are heightened and logic disappears. All that matters is this instance. A calm sense of pleasure that only you can provide. 

*found this in my archives on my iPhone notes from 08April2014.

A Spontaneous Overflow of Powerful Feelings

Beautiful beauty of heaven oh my 

The mystics of this world remain high up in the sky 

A deliberate action to bring joy and peace 

Love reveals itself at every moment with ease ...

My outlet to express myself are my written words. I prefer to be at silence and connect through presence. Just being around someone is enough for me as speaking can change the dynamics and sometimes become too much. As William Wordsworth said "Poetry should be the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings" and for me that is exactly what it is. I don't look to talk about these feelings or explain them as I simply cannot. These words just run through me like a river in a valley; It's path constantly changing but it's goal remaining the same.

Beautiful things don't ask for attention

Beautiful things don't ask for attention. They resonate at a high level of contentness and just be; experiencing this ride of a lifetime in a calm manor. Never asking for more but recognizing that all they ever needed is right in front of them. A deep breath and an objective point of view. Never distracted and focused on visceral experiences. The present moment is beautiful in all ways, always. 

Curiosity of Perfection

The sun peers over the mountain tops. Pink, orange and yellow hues begin to penetrate the skies and illuminate the Eastern Greenlandic fjords. As we allow ourselves to awaken we arise in silence. We take notice of the crackling of the glacial ice in the frigid arctic waters and our senses become alive for the day. We see the Ravens traveling in pairs soaring by the crevasses in the ice cliffs of the majestic glacier. They swoop and dive together while marvelling in the miles of rugged coastline.  

A significant event in our lives of pushing the boundaries of human civilization but unable to brave the conditions we retreat to what is comfortable. Hoping one day we will be able to be comfortable going beyond the norm of everyday societal structure. Even though minute in time these brief moments in pristine untouched nature remain in our hearts forever and allowed to be accessed at anytime.  We take a snapshot of this feeling and store it in our subconscious. We use this power time and time again to go inward, still our minds and push past the restraints and constrictions of our physical bodies. Our consciousness is heightened as the light body has entered each one of our cells and has brought them to a higher vibration. 

The perfection of Mother Nature, her ever changing beauty and her humbling presence reminds us to stay curious and have wonder for all which goes far beyond the physical. 

Inspired by Eastern Greenland.

Hydrology

Water, vatn, agua and eau

Our life line in this world

That will allow us to grow

To nourish our body and mind

Yes, but could it be

To connect with the universe and slow down time? 

Water is ancient and timeless

Showing itself in many forms 

In a liquid state our bodies it will caress

It is a window to the past 

Telling a billion year story 

That we are capable of great things and our intelligence so vast 

Filling us with life force energy 

It brings us alive 

Allowing us to succeed and reach our spiritual capacity 

A Level Above

Uplift my spirits 

High in the sky 

Where the clouds are soft 

And the air is dry 

I am in the heavens 

A level above 

Gaining a wider perspective 

The whole point is to love 

Exploring new places 

Learning from those before me 

Viewing a vast landscape 

While discussing philosophy 

But see we are not so different

searching for the unknown 

Let us just have patience 

the answers will be shown 

** inspired by a flight from Reykjavik to Akureyri

 

Beyond Human

In us all is...

The power to be

The power to see

The power to achieve 

An upper level state of ...

Evolution of the self

Evolution of man

Evolution of the Earth 

And always having...

A responsibility of growth

A responsibility of love

A responsibility of spirit

But where does this take us...

To self actualization 

To heaven on Earth 

To a universal journey 

The potential for godhood is here so...

Release the laziness

Release the fear 

Release the neuroticism

We are capable as far as belief to dig into our spiritual power and present our true consciousness. Let's place our faith in the unknown and go beyond human. 

We be

Just take my hand and we shall run fast into the night while I'm holding you tight. Our hearts are racing as we escape what was; a cookie cutter life for a husband and a wife but we are more than that, we are philosophers and explorers. Taking each step with wonder and discussing a greater meaning. We are of unlimited, untapped potential but only blips on this universal time scale. How do we contribute? How do we give back? Sometimes it feels like time is slipping away from us because we are doing our societal jobs. But the point is to disassociate from a purpose of gaining monetary value and associate with a purpose to love beyond control. Love of all allows us to feel safe and free, to transcend to paradise in harmony with one another at this very moment we be.

Break Free

As I flutter my wings 

My heart it sings 

Let me be free 

To a place I can see 

That is not here

Where there is no fear 

That ultimately supports 

Loving of all sorts 

Where I create the real me 

Unbound from conformity 

Combining work, travel and nature 

In a tropical jungle or on a farmers  pasture 

As I create my dreams 

Knowing everyday is not what it seems 

"Getting Naked....A Business Fable"

I recently returned from Virtuoso Week, an annual luxury travel conference where the best of the best in the tourism and hospitality industry come together to exchange information. Every year Virtuoso has incredible speakers at the opening ceremonies and this year I listened to Patrick Lencioni, author of “Getting Naked…A Business Fable:”. He was truly inspirational to me. I did not study business in university nor did I ever see myself in a “sales” position. My passion is health and wellness and I want to help people, not sell them things. In the last 3 years as I have transitioned from the life of a university student to a builder of my own personal Wellness Travel brand under Renshaw Travel my interest in “business” has completely shifted. Whether one is a farmer, a yoga teacher, a doctor, a psychologist, a car salesman, a realtor or a travel advisor something is being sold. This something may be a service, product, a life changing experience or a necessity such as food and therefore business is involved.

I am a luxury travel advisor so I sell the product of luxury travel. This is something that I am so incredibly passionate about and look forward to educating people on the unbelievable life changing experiences that comes from further exploring this world. What the “customer” comes home with are memories from life enriching experiences of human interaction, personal thrill and finally stepping outside one’s comfort zone (as we all know that life begins at the end of our comfort zone). So what was so inspirational to me about Patrick’s speech was that he redefined how we do business. It is not about putting up a personal shield and becoming a robot just spitting out the facts of a companies values or mission statement that you aren’t personally invested in. It is about being completely open and honouring your true self, hence the title of the book “Getting Naked”. One may think that being vulnerable in business may be uncomfortable, counter intuitive or counter productive but for me it is natural. I am building my own brand and therefor I am my business and my business is me. These two concepts are intertwined and therefore I am always inspired by the work that I am doing as I believe it represents my true self. Goodbye retirement, Hello a fulfilling life of work-life balance!

Present Moment

This life so precious 

this moment is here 

your hands keep grasping 

but no one is near.

Rely on your intuition 

in yourself you will trust 

others can lead you astray 

and you'll see change is a must.

Follow your passion and heart 

Only you know what's best, 

be the person you want 

because lifes not a test.

 It's always changing 

different each day 

practice nonattachment 

to remain somewhat sane. 

Don't waste your time 

with people who don't care 

its all for the better 

when it was first a big scare. 

There's so much to learn 

so much to see 

foster a sense of self 

and be all you can be. 

The right person will come 

one who treats you like gold 

you wont need to ask questions 

since you'll truly know.

 

Midnight Rain

I love a good ramble poem, just writing no thinking. Wrote this before bed during a rainy evening:

Midnight rain let it fall from the sky wash away the dirt and leave us anything but dry but being sopping wet takes us to another place where the air is pure and there's hydration to our face. We are utterly soaked just completely drenched perhaps it will take us off this fence of being dazed and confused and align our thoughts to let us appreciate the force that an overzealous mind could be the source of the story, the basis of the drama but let us be together and no one other will understand why we are caught on the street in this pouring rain.

Don't Look to be the Richest Person in the Graveyard

When I was young I loved playing the “Game of Life”;  a board game where your path in life was up to the random chance of a spinner. One would get a career, get married, have kids, win Nobel prizes, buy a house, suffer a tree falling on their house, then kick themselves that they didn’t buy the house insurance and in the end all the players would end up at the White Mansion. Since in all games there is a winner I was usually confused at the end of this game, who won? Was it the person with the most kids? Was it the person who finished first? Was it the person with the most money?

I recently was talking to a new friend who is a Personal Trainer and Life Coach, he said he tells his clients, “don’t look to be the richest person in the graveyard”. This quote paints a clear picture of how a destructive corporate lifestyle of addiction to work and earning money can lead to ill health and essentially a premature death. Money is a medium of exchange and isn’t really worth anything if we aren’t going to spend it. I think materialism is a thing of the past and people will benefit from spending their money on true life experiences, find a hobby or passion that ignites your soul and don’t worry about how much it costs. For myself, my passion is fueled through travel and I look to help people through the transformative power of travel. I find that no matter where I go, I come home with a few more skills and a broader perspective.  It has been stated that, “travel makes you richer”, I agree with this because these experiences stay with you for a lifetime. These adventures allow you to learn more about yourself and how to you want to positively impact our planet.

 

 

Humbled in the Sky

The mountains carved over time tell a story over millions of years. We egotistical humans think we know but we have no idea. Best to feel the wisdom of Mother Nature. Absorb her rich history and trust that everything will be ok. She is the most intelligent force in this world and for that I bow down and accept I am but a humble being. Making my way around the planet out of curiosity and a yearning for new experiences. Realizing that these new experiences are merely all the same. Uncomfortable beginnings followed by a overwhelming sense of love for all differences. Seeing that underneath these differences we are a universal consciousness that has streamed over centuries. We are all one, easy to recognize 20,000 feet in the sky. 

-plane to Missoula 

Above It All

Hovering like a bird in the sky My mind is blank, taken back by this beauty before me. In awe of the natural colours in the changing landscape. Ahhhh

A calm lake with an appearance like glass 

Fields so fertile and perfectly kept 

Rugged mountains keeping a watch out for danger 

I am honoured to take a walk on this beauty while having my footprint washed away by the rain 

I am on this earth to share, not to take, to love not to hate

I keep the life force energy funnelling inside me by connecting with the soil, grass, water and sand 

A dusting of snow allows the air to be pure and the ecosystem to remain in balance.

I am now in balance, My thoughts are now aligned. Who knew all I needed was a little time in the sky up above it all.

-JR on the plane to Missoula Jun 2014

Have love trust and gratitude and the rest will fall into place

A part of me knows I'll stumble across that person. In a remote location where we were destined to meet brought together from a higher power on the top of a mountain, in the middle of the ocean or flying high in the sky. A man who is brave and courageous enough to tell me the truth, to respect and believe in me, to trust that I place them in the highest regard, that their happiest and success is of the utmost importance to me. I want you to thrive and I want me to thrive so together we can rise in love. Creating from a place of endearment while allowing for space to be alone and pursue our own hobbies.  We are separate entities but when we are together the sky illuminates before us. Our energy lifts us up to a place where brilliance begins. I know this is possible and I know it is near. I am calm, I am still, I am right where I need to be:)

Night Walk

Alone I walk 

 into deep thought 

Could it be better with two 

But that question still remains who

When the time is right 

I will have someone to hold me at night 

Until then I am content 

Knowing that everything has it's placement 

Is a good omen all you need to believe?

Sitting on the beach watching the sunset I feel a weight has been lifted and my back injury is in healing mode once again. Feeling slight relief today I came down to enjoy the beach at twilight. Feeling content with where I'm at a ladybug landed on my arm. Could it be such a sign that allows me to believe again? When life feels random at best it is the simplest of situations that can bring great joy and great hope. 

21st Century Commitment

Smartphones are an incredible tool to have in our hands during the day and night. I work in the travel industry so this allows me to be connected to my home when I travel and be connected to my friends around the world when I am at home. But what I have noticed over the last 2 years of being a smartphone user is a lack of commitment from myself and others I interact with. The ability to make plans in an instance also allows for the ability to break plans in a instance. 

I find that people, and I am guilty of this too, will put out feelers to their friends via text messaging and wait for the best offer to accept. As soon as something "better" comes across our paths we are easy to cancel our original plans. This takes an integrity that we once spoke right out of our word.

I find this mentality with relationships too. Are we really living in the present moment and enjoying the time spent with our current partners or are we just "buying time" until the next best thing comes along? Now, we are not just competing with the other women in our community to find a partner but with women all around the world. Think about the baby boomer generation, most of them met in highschool, university or at clubs in their respective cities. I find that I meet people away travelling and they remain in the back of my mind because I can stay in constant contact with them via what's app, Instagram, Facebook etc. I do want to be fully present in a relationship but it is easy to drift into dreamland and create a story of running away with that guy I met in France (just for example's sake, I have never been to France). So to avoid this "grass is greener on the otherside" or in this case "relationships are more romantic in another country" it is most important to practice honest and open communication. This allows for each person to know their true intentions and fully commit to their time together instead of wondering what else is out there.

Summer Solstice: A Day of Reflection

As I lay down and think about my day I am ever so blessed to have such amazing people in my life; to teach, guide, love and support me. My existence on earth is ever changing. Non attachment is an incredible skill I practice that allows me to grow, change and develop while not holding on to certain ideals or standards that once were. 

Gossip is a reflection of how one views themselves, so what bothers us in other people is actually what we need to change or bring awareness to in ourselves. When I talk about a certain characteristic of someone else it is just a reflection of my own traits or patterns. Tonight, it was so clear, I saw how I can be closed off emotionally, distant and cold. I continue to focus on opening up my heart a little more each day and I am mindful to carry love for myself and everyone around me all the time. When my heart is filled with love there is no room for fear. Travelling with this indestructible love will allow me to release stored tension and bring to life my dreams and aspirations. 

Happy Summer Solstice! 

Do men ever want to get married?

Romantic relationships are very intriguing to me. I am 25 years old and have yet to officially call someone my boyfriend. On the North American timeline I am a little behind but I'm not too worried. What I am more is curious; curious about long term monogamous relationships and how they come to be. 

Growing up as a child in the 90's I have a  skewed view of love, mostly due to Disney movies and then later exacerbated by romantic comedy movies. I am waiting for that undeniable love at first sight of Princess and her Prince Charming. After talking with my friends, viewing other relationships from a  far and quizzing my parents and my friends parents, my view of finding "the one" is dramatically different than originally thought out to be.

I want to get married not because of the church, not because that is what North American society has said but for the reason of growing together with an amazing being and becoming a team who support each other through the ups and downs in life. I believe there is a man out there who feels the same way. But recently I have began to wonder. Do men ever want to get married?

 I have "surveyed" countless couples and it appears that there has almost always been an ultimatum from the women,  "Marry me or I'm outta here!" A recipe for a lasting relationship, hard to judge but boy is that a familiar story. We can't deny that biologically women do have a window to have children and therefore they put the pressure on their man to decide if that's the next step they will take together but I never knew the women were the ones who actually asked for their partners hand in marriage. That down on one knee stuff should really come from the women! 

Perhaps this is just a west coast way (and I will have to share my opinion about the dating scene in Vancouver at a later date) but I still pray that the man I marry is equally excited to spend their life with me and rise together in love and not just propose due to a fear of losing me. 

 

Type A Personality and Back Pain

Once again my back pain strikes. Brought on by... Tension?, stress?, too much exercise?, not enough exercise?, too much sitting?...I never really know. Living in a time where information is everywhere whether it be right or wrong there is so much to learn and so much to do. I'm not sure if I would call myself A-type personality but I have a hard time just doing nothing. Exercise is my meditation. However, when these back episodes arise it becomes a time for me to embrace things other than exercise, ditch the regime and SLOW DOWN! As I have mentioned before why do I need to get to a feeling of pain and immobility to realize a change is needed.

I know deep down that I must cool my jets. Give myself time in the day to do nothing. A time where I clear my head and focus on my breath, subtle movements and connecting with the earth to allow for healing. 

It is sounds easier than it is as these are ingrained patterns from youth. I have now taken my competitive drive from sports and translated it to my career. When you have been a certain way for so long people expect certain behaviours from you and most importantly you expect certain things of yourself. What if I choose other hobbies in life? Ones that allow for a break of my physical body or a break in my everyday need to succeed & accomplish.What will my friends & my family think? How will I deal with a new identity?

This conversation seems to come up often with me as if I am holding on to my past instead of embracing my present self. To know and believe that where I am now is exactly where I need to be.

When it comes to treatment of pain I know it is deeper than going to my physio because otherwise I wouldn't have to go back so often. Time to turn my conscious power to my breath to release tension instead of storing it in my tissues. Key word....RELEASE. Something is being held and it's time to let go!

A Sleepless Night in Spring

As he lay here beside me

I think about we

Will we be together til the end?

Or is he just a friend?

This is comfortable yes,

But is it for the best?

Should I worry if he doesn't tie the knot

But all that matters if he cares for me or not.

All this confusion makes my future unclear

So I accept only love and release any fear

I am worth the world and he should know 

If he has decided to be my beau!

Visions Dance

There is something so comforting when it's late at night and my man has his arms around me so tight. I lay my head on his chest and listen to his heart beat; nothing but this moment has ever existed. To be wrapped among each other is a special moment as our breaths synchronize together. We are living creatures, so fragile. Deserving love is our birthright no reason is ever needed to be loved. 

Relational Faith

I have spent so much time on my own traveling, hiking, going for meals that independence is my comfort zone. I am able to do what I want when I want, I do not need to worry about the judgements of others asking why I do certain things or giving me any hassle.When I am out in the world on my own I come across fascinating people that I meet just sitting on the beach, standing at a bus stop or in the airport security line.  I love meeting new people because these relationships always start from a clean slate. There are no preconceived notions of how I should act, who I should be or what I should look like. This is when I truly feel most calm and relaxed. However, more and more I feel that to continue to learn about myself and my place in this world I am searching out longer term relationships. Instead of running away when I don't meet eye to eye with someone or I start feeling uncomfortable because I think my independence is getting sucked away I am consciously practicing developing my direct communication and my emotional connection without losing my true self. I have reached a point where solo traveling does not satisfy me like it used to. I now look to travel with loved ones where we can share special moments like an Indian Sunrise, a Hawaiian Sunset or a Galapagos moonrise together while embracing the pure contentness of the present moment. 

I recently spent 10 days traveling with a new friend of only a few moths despite us feeling like soul sisters. It was a great learning experience for me to practice my communication skills. I have a habit of internalizing my true word and running away when I cannot handle it anymore. With my friend I was challenged and inspired to speak my mind. I take what I learned these past 10 days as friends and translate that into a romantic relationship. I feel much more clear about my true personality and what sort of partner I am looking for to compliment me, teach me and allow me to grow. 

My friend said it very well, "In a true relationship you are loving and supporting the one you are with while still honouring your own truth." 

Ebb and Flow

My self image confidence comes in ebbs and flows. I try to rid my negative thoughts through my poetry. This came out this morning...

Upon the city I stare

Looking to leave this place I dare

I search for love and nature

The outdoors is my savior

Feeling beautiful amongst the trees

The forest is all I can see

This is my happy place where I can confidently show my face

I've had it with the judgment I just want to be confident

Without a reason why

As I sit there alone and sigh

I search for love unconditionally knowing that it must first come from me