Lying on the sidewalk waiting for a family member to pick me up feeling so helpless at this time of injury. Unable to walk long distances at the moment I am forced to ask for help. I had to call for a ride for 10 blks. Why is it so hard to ask for help? I have grown up teaching myself how to be self sufficient, independent and basically never needing to ask for help. When I ask for help I feel like I am bugging the person, taking them away from what they would rather be doing. Growing up when I have asked my Mom for help it was followed by immediate tension in her body, followed by a big sigh, followed by me panicking and saying, "ok ok never mind" then ended by her getting mad and answering with a snarky "fine". This had conditioned me to figure out things on my own, I even get tight in my body when I think of this situation. Asking for help has always been a stressful thing to me so I try to avoid.
Acknowledging it is a skill to ask for help, it is just as much of a skill to learn how to respond appropriately to being asked for help. It takes guts, courage and most of all level of comfort to put oneself out on the line and ask for help. So if you are the receiver of that question for help remain calm, breathe, listen to the whole request, take a second to quietly think to yourself then respond with a clear answer.
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