How Improv Can Improve Romantic Relationships

As a result of a back injury I have had to cut out the sports that I have been playing for the past 20 years and look towards other hobbies. I wanted to try something new but still with high energy, so I am taking Improv classes. I enjoy them very much despite being so far away from my comfort zone. I have never done any sort of performing on a theatre stage. As I try to enjoy the uncomfortable feelings of acting out ridiculous situations in front of others I learn many valuable lessons and insights from the feedback of our Improv teacher at Vancouver Theatre Sports (VTSL). Not only are these lessons going to help me release any stage fright and have more fun but after reading through my notes after class I see that they are also tips for dating and relationships!

Here are a few Improv tips that can be applied to dating, relationships and marriage:

Train yourself out of being right
There is no wrong just confidence
Be bold and direct
But yield to other ideas
If you feel stuck talking to each other look for something physical
Doing is always better than talking
Support the other person
Build on each other
Take Ownership
Accept and move on
If you make your partner look good, you look good
But it’s not just all about yourself
Be in the moment, don’t create the future
Relax and trust
Chill Out
But don’t be afraid to go through the door!
Have Commitment
Have Fun!

We have been building certain social constructs our whole life and we have this idea of what is “right” or what looks “right”. As soon as we add an element that is out of the norm or our daily habits, ie a new romantic partner or Improv comedy we begin to quickly question reality. I think as I start to break down these social constructs in the theatre my protective walls regarding romantic relationships will start to crumble as well. I love how Improv allows us to take anything out of context and make sense of it so Thanks VTSL for the great relationship advice ;)
 

A Send Off

Its time to go, my work here is done

Don't worry about me I've had my fun

I've created a legacy, A loving family 

Don't grasp too hard, I'll rest peacefully 

I love you all very much, you've been so good to me 

I pass on my love but keep the memories 

You don't need to speak because Grandma we know 

We must be strong and let you go 

A deep rooted connection forged over the years 

Its admiration and love flowing in these tears 

Your physical self is slowly slipping away

But you stay with us forever, in our hearts we pray

Dealing with Death is never easy as we are raised in a culture afraid of such a thing. Even to write death or speak the words make our own self cringe as we realize our invincibility. So how to handle it, what to do? Well North America standards would give us a handbook or call us depressed. But let your intuitive sense guide you through the process, it's ok to be sad, it's ok to cry. Death truly warrants our celebration of such beautiful life on this earth. 

Describing the Indescribable

Juggling a soccer ball

Sleeping through the night

Walking into a forest 

& sitting by candle light 

Seeing an old friend 

Swimming in the sea

Reaching the top of a mountain

& drinking afternoon tea 

Exploring a new place 

& Smelling fragrant flowers 

Exchanging smiles with a stranger

Losing track of time for hours 

My life's purpose is to enjoy 

The simple pleasures of the day 

In a constant state of gratitude 

With no words left to say 

Lift Your Head

I want to go back to a time of mystique, to a time of simplicity where if the sun was shining you went outside, if the cherry blossoms were out you stopped to like them instead of liking a photo of them on instagram. Is this my resistance to change or an acknowledgement of a time of mindless distractions taking us away from being fully present with the true beauty of this world. The grass is not greener after that click of a button but lift your head and see it is green RIGHT NOW! Accept what is right there in front of you.

I'm Listening

I have so much to offer this world. I have much to say and share but at the moment I feel so trapped; A prisoner not of my mind but of my body. Being attacked by physical pain everyday. Perhaps this attack is more of a guidance back on to my path, it could have been that I wandered astray. Though I must have missed my turn by miles because there's no ignoring this. I promise, I'm listening. 

Rationalize

It's getting close to 3am and I have been woken up in discomfort with this back  injury. After a half hour of trying to get back to sleep I grab my book, "The Road Less Travelled" and begin reading. I am on the section titled "Grace" and the sub header of "Entropy and Original Sin". Dr Peck writes that Entropy is the 2nd law of thermodynamics and essentially should be pulling the universe to a less organized state, however that is not the case. Over centuries the miracle of evolution has been and still is present. Evolution goes against this natural law and this is not just with evolution of species this is evolution of the self (spiritual development). So what is the law the pushes us to grow against the natural law of resistance, it is the force of love (which Dr Peck defines as "the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth). 

Spiritual growth is something that is hard work. We are faced with challenges and change in our life which we can either view as something negative or we can use that as a teacher to continuously grow our whole life. What I found interesting about what Dr Peck brought up is that laziness is omnipresent and that laziness is the cheif enemy to extending one self into new areas of thought, responsibility or maturation. I notice in myself that I may try to circumvent a problem first before facing head on, an example of a form of laziness.

Furthermore, this back story brings me to a realization of rationalization and a questioning of my world view. Dr Peck continues to state that laziness can disguise itself in other forms such as  rationalizations. So I stop reading, realize I titled my writing platform, "Rational-eyes" (a title that made sense at the time) and begin to become even more aware of my intellectualizing patterns. I am hyper aware and observant of why people do the things they do therefore I will observe a situation and try to make sense of it or bring reason into the equation, which fulfills the definition of rational. Extending on that, to rationalize is to create an excuse or a more attractive explanation for a problem or situation and all of sudden it clicked, this is a defense mechanism I use frequently to protect myself. I try to be logical instead of just feeling what is going on which in turn has me bottling up emotions. Wow, self revalation. 

Noticing I place this sort of logic on all situations, even as to why I have chronic episodes of disc herniations, this becomes another adventure on my journey to changing these ingrained patterns. In conclusion we all will be working against this force of laziness, which ever form it shows it self in, our whole life if we choose to continue to develop and spiritually evolve towards godhood. 

Miracles

Below is a wonderful excerpt from the current book I am reading, "The Road Less Travelled" by Dr. Scott M. Peck. He speaks of miracles and how they are everywhere and in our day to day life, we don't need to wait for the parting of the seas to believe in miracles.  I am grateful for these daily miracles life has to offer; amazing people, incredible scenery, the ability to learn and the capacity to love. 

"Perception of the miraculous requires no faith or assumptions. It is simply a matter of paying full and close attention to the givens of life, I.e. To what is ever so present that it is usually taken for granted. The true wonder of the world is available everywhere, in the minutest parts of our bodies, in the vast expanse of the cosmos and in the interconnectedness of these and all things. We are apart of a finely balanced ecosystem. We are individuals but also parts of a greater whole, united in something vast and beautiful beyond description."