Everyone Everyday

Find humour, love and inspiration in the day to day! View the world with an objective viewpoint and have compassion for all people you come across including yourself. We may have different ranks or titles but our souls have come from and will end up in the same place. As quoted from my friend Andrew Stevens, "true class is the ability to accept everyone as equals". 

Effective Honesty

Everyone deserves honesty. Sometimes we are deceiving with our word because we do not want to "hurt" the person on the other end of the conversation. However in doing this, we have created drama. We think the other person (sorry ahead of time for the quote of a movie line) cannot handle the truth. We think they are not strong enough or they will be upset. However this sort of approach does not give the receiver any moral credit. You have now put them in a 'poor me' category. I believe it is important to spit out the facts, have courage and tell the truth, all the time. No matter what the situation and no matter what 'you think' will be the outcome. TELL THE TRUTH.

I speak of this through experience. I know we have all been in a situation where you just wanted the truth. Since we cannot control what others are going to do or say, in order to make this a reality in my life I have done my best to start living my truth. I speak my feelings, I act accordingly and I let others know what I am thinking. I am not a mind reader and not many of us are. Thinking that others know what we want is only going to end in disappointment. You are not being selfish if you put in your opinion...and don't forget we are all entitled to our own opinion.

Effective honesty is to be used in all situations in life however I am going to take one example in terms of romantic feelings. Romance is an area in our lives where so much drama is created. Situations are dreamt up, expectations are not met and we are all trying to live up to finding "the one". I do not beleive we have just one "soulmate". There are so many people in the world... in our Country, ok wait...in our very own city and neighbour who we are compatible with. I do not believe that if we speak of truth then we are spoiling any magic, actually I think the opposite... truth allows the magic to reveal itself. 

I recently approach a friend with romantic feelings. The feelings were not mutual but I had to put my feelings forth in order to let them go. It was a great decision as now our friendship has developed stronger. I have been able to move past any story I had created in my mind. I often find myself listening to my girlfriends chat about their dating scene and I throw my two cents into the mix about being honest. "Why don't you just tell him the truth?", I'll say. This is received often with a, "No, I could never do that!"

I find that when I am honest, it takes up a lot less of my energy. Living in the city, working in a service industry and exercising daily adds enough stress and strain to my body, I do not need to add stress on my body through created drama. It is important to our mental wellbeing to let our feelings flow instead of bottling them up inside and hoping or wishing that something will come from it.

Connecting Through Visceral Experiences

When we are young we hear the following saying numerous times from adults "Don't talk to strangers". I don't believe I was ever told this as a child because talking with "strangers" is one of my favourite things to do. A few months back I saw a post from Richard Branson writing about the importance of 'Talking to Strangers' and I completely agree. You can never can guess where a simple Hello will take you. I have made so many lifelong friends by just talking to a person who once was a "stranger". It might have been on public transit, at a restaurant, on an airplane or hiking a mountain. I find when I truly commit to the moment it is at this time that I open up. I am not thinking about what I need to cook for dinner, the emails I need to answer once I get to work or the credit card bill that is due tomorrow. I am aware of my surroundings smiling and making eye contact with whomever will accept it. I would like to share a couple of my favourite stories:

1) I was waiting at the Canada Line station and I noticed the only other person waiting for the train. I began talking to him (I told him he looked very handsome...I like to say what is on my mind) and it turns out he was from Liechtenstein. There is only a population of 36,000 in the whole country. The odds of meeting someone from this country is less than winning the lottery! He ended up coming over for family dinner a couples days later. 

2) I was working at a retail store as a greeter. I began talking with a fellow who looked around my age (I think I made a comment about his sunglasses). He just gave off fabulous energy. We exchanged information met up a couple days later and now I have met so many new people through him that I don't what my last year would have been like if I hadn't met him. 

3) I went for a swim in a glacier lake with my sister. As we came out of the water a gentleman came over to us and asked how cold the water was. We began talking and found that we connected instantly. I now have a friend in Missouri!

I understand some people are not as outgoing and will not just start talking to someone they do not know. I believe a trick to meeting people is to keep a sense of that childhood innocence with you. The knowing/thought that all people are good and are doing their best to do 'good' in this world. Children do not judge, they become friends instantly with people because they carry no previous judgement with them as their ego has not developed yet. I met one of my most cherished friends til this day when I was 5 years old. This person has had a tremendous impact on my life and forever will. I truly don't know what my life would be like without her. And it all started when I went over to her on the swings and I said I like your sweater (to add she was wearing a pretty righteous full burgundy roots sweatsuit!).

Meeting new friends does not mean that you give up your old friendships, or that these old friendships are not as important anymore. Building new friendships allows us to cooperate and build connections in a world that can seem lonely at times. 

Changing the World One Hug at a Time

About 5 years ago my Grandfather informed of his 5 guidelines to healthy living. I respect this man very much. He is always smiling and treats everyone he meets with the utmost respect. Currently he is 87 years of age, he plays hockey and golf (yes he walks the course) and he still comes into the office of the business he created almost 60 years ago. One of his 5 guidelines to healthy living was to hug someone everyday. This is not the first time I have heard of the benefits of physical touch through hugging. One article I read mentioned that in order to achieve personal growth you must have at least 8 hugs a day. I find it funny to place numbers on the amount of hugs one gives a day but I do find that I notice through my mood if I haven’t met my hug quota for the day. Through the act of hugging Oxytocin (one of the body’s four “feel good” neurotransmitters) is released allowing us to feel slightly more elated after the hug. Each morning at the office I start my day with a hug from my Grandfather and I try to share the love for the rest of the day. So I ask you this serious question of “Who have you hugged today”? If you cannot remember then it’s not too late to hug your neighbour, coworker, boss, the cashier at the grocery store, random person you started talking to at the bus stop, mother, sister or lover!

Make Life Rich

Be Kind to everyone, Do acts of generosity often, Have and share love, talk to strangers, Be grateful! 

Release the Need to Feel in Control of Everything

Today I was on my way down from my apartment to the ground floor. On the way my elevator picked up a gentleman on the 8^th floor. He got in, and pushed the ground floor button even though it was lit up. I was intrigued by this as it is not the first time I have noticed this same action. I thought to myself, did he push it due to habit? Or is more related to control, does he feel like he must push the button in order to “make sure” he will get to where he needs to go.  Everyone wants control of their life....which makes sense. However, more and more I am beginning to place my trust in the Universe and allow myself to flow in the river of life. I believe control issues come up when we are resisting situations that are coming our way and we are fearful of the future. Many disorders such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia, obsessive compulsive disorder all stem from the need to feel in control. I am not too familiar with OCD but from what I know people come up with rituals and need to do everything the exact same way to prevent a mishap. For example Mr. A is afraid that when he leaves his house, something could go wrong, so he spends an hour double and triple checking that the oven is off, all the plugs are unplugged, the switches are off. So how do we release these fears? How do we release the need to be in control?

Fear is something that I have thought a lot about. A person who I have grown up with and is very close to me is a very fearful person. This person is afraid of birds attacking her, afraid of getting in an accident that she couldn’t prevent, afraid of flying, and the list goes on. It can be exhausting to be around. Perhaps I have grown up to see her live in fear so I have taken the opposite approach and have released all or any fear. I think the main fear is of dying and these are just sub fears that could end up in death. I would love to learn more about how people in other cultures perceive death because one thing we can guarantee in our life is that we will die. This should not be something that we are fearful of as it is the circle of life. So how can we promote living life and not be afraid of living because we are afraid of dying?

Float Your Cares Away

The last couple months I have found that my mind has been running more than usual. I have been consciously repeating positive affirmations to avoid getting into a negative mind space. Living in the city is a constant attack on the senses. It has taken me a little while to get used to living on the 16^th floor of an apartment building, when before I was in living in a small town of 3,000 people. I find I look out my window in my room to the street below and there is always movement. Sometimes I find I get overwhelmed with the life of a city dweller and I look to the forest for comfort, reconnect with nature and disconnect from technology.

Sometimes I am not always able to escape to the forest when I want to. But recently, I became introduced to The Float House. It is a locally owned independent business and was opened in May of this year. I went for the first time yesterday and it was an incredible experience. I took a cramped bus ride down to the Cordova Street location after leaving work in an air conditioned building. The streets were busy and I did my best to dodge the smokers along the way but I made to the peaceful sanctuary of the Float House!  

After one of the co-owners, Greg, gave me a briefing of the “float” I was ready for the unknown. The float tank is a place of sensory deprivation. No sights, no sounds, just you and yourself! I made my way into the body temperature water, it was amazingly warm and nourishing. I don’t believe I have ever floated like that. The Epsom salt water fully supported my body, I was weightless. I noticed my breathing slow down and become deeper. In the tank I found it easy to let go, relax and unwind. I was in a deep meditative state which I believe is very healing. During the float I noticed that my physical body just melted away. I was just a consciousness.

After the float I left and walked down the same street but this time it was different. I was in pure bliss. Completely detached from any thoughts or judgements, I was just an observer. I usually feel this similar bliss after a yoga class but it was about 100x heightened after my float!

I will be making floating a regular addition to my meditation practice. Next step, the Dead Sea!