Lost for words

Sunken heart
Blank mind
Shakey hands
How could this be?
Why did this happen?
Holding back tears I am lost for words. Suddenly everything has lost meaning. What is the point to these monotonous tasks when a loved one has departed? We spend our life trying to develop ourselves. We earn more money when really all we want is to earn more time. More time to spend with those who matter most. But when those people leave our lives forever we are left with scars on our hearts. A constant reminder of their presence. A constant reminder of how fleeting our time is. Things change fast so share your love, share your heart and wear those scars with pride. You were brave enough to love and isn't that the point to this all?

Moving Fast

What's going on in the world today?
We're moving fast but we're getting delayed.
I think it's time we stop and figure this out.

Try to Pretend

I really try
Try to pretend
That I am strong
That I don't get hurt
I like to believe
It's all for the best
But really if I acknowledge
what's truly going on
I feel hurt
I feel upset
I feel weak and broken
But best to start somewhere
Just acknowledge the hurt
Pay attention to the want
Continue to be vulnerable
And put my heart on the line
Some will not know how to respond
Some will run away
But the truth is
I won't know until I try
I wont' know until I'm open
And maybe I'll never even know

what do you see

What are we doing? Does this even make sense? We are time zones apart. Makes me feel kind of tense.

But close your eyes, what do you see, could it be the future? do you see me?

Do we give this a try? Do we make the world small? Do we take time to come together and give it our all?

Let us surrender, to this time apart, it will ignite the passion and fire a spark.

We are drawn together, for some reason beyond words, not listening to that call would be rather absurd. 

When I see you soon, my heart will liberate until that moment I'll patiently wait. 

Chill... Calm....Relax

Hold me now 

Hold me today 

Awake on the beach 

Looking out to the bay

Together we combine

Together we align 

Our peaceful spirits 

There exists no time 

Todays information and relationships

I wish to be offline. I wish to not engage my “following” in my day to day life. If I get off of facebook, twitter, whatsapp, Instagram and get rid of my cell phone do I still exist in today’s standards? Can business be done when we remove our umbilical cord to our tech devices? Can friends and relationships last if we ditch the smart phones and stop snap chatting every person that comes into our life.

I still give a lot of importance to forming new relationships, friendships and interactions but I think I need to know when to let them go. I need to realize that perhaps that relationship fulfilled all we were ever going to get out of it in our 5 minute interaction waiting in line at the grocery counter or on our two week holiday in Laos. Why do we have to hold on to everything we come across? I don’t believe we need to find more meaning in these interactions than what presented itself to us. Let's view them at face value and know that what we got out of that interaction was all we needed for that time and if we see that person again well, we were meant to!

I find I hang on to these blissful interactions I have with people I met when traveling, friendships from elementary school or random encounters with “strangers” throughout my days. It is crazy that I can meet someone, only know there first name, where they work and the city they live in and I can find them online and I wouldn't consider myself a skilled internet stalker. I find that I do not know how to properly process this influx or information and new relationships and feel that I can be quick to get overwhelmed.

Philosophy: Release through Knowledge

In life I search for freedom. In this sense of freedom I feel released; released from all kinds of societal pressures to fit into a certain mold. It has become a life long journey to consciously feel free no matter what my situation becomes however many people will find addictions to get this release. These addictions may show themselves through food, exercise, relationships, sex, drugs, alcohol and philosophy… yes philosophy is a search for release through knowledge. I had never quite thought of knowledge as a release but it certainly is. When I write I critically think about many different people’s opinions and life perspective. I become lost in thought, when I form new opinions and then I experience a sort of academic high. I feel the more I know the more I can live freely. However this is a falsity. To be truly free is to acknowledge death of the ego; to let that ego slide away in order to become present, humble and content. Freedom then becomes the constant practice of releasing the grip my ego has on my identity.